The Sanity Saver Collection
The Sanity Saver Collection is not real medicine, but it is real relief.
These pharmacy-style novelty pill bottles arrive empty on purpose, so you can fill them with candy, snacks, mints, or whatever sweet or salty fix best suits the person you’re gifting. Each bottle is labeled with a painfully relatable “condition” and instructions that feel a little too accurate. Think of it as personalized comic relief, prescribed by you, for anyone who’s had enough of people.
1. SHUT THE F*CK UP
Indication: For acute exposure to unsolicited small talk, life-story oversharing, and conversations that should have ended three sentences ago.
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2. EVERYTHING COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH IS STUPID
Indication: For senseless, repetitive, brain-cell-killing conversations that somehow keep going.
3. PICK A F*CKING LANE
Indication: Road rage, aisle rage, grocery cart drift syndrome, and general spatial unawareness.
4. I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS
Indication: Emergency treatment for adult life, surprise meetings, child meltdowns, unread emails, and messages that say “quick favor.”
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General Warning
Prolonged exposure to The Sanity Saver Collection may cause uncontrollable laughter, a dangerously low tolerance for other people's nonsense, and the sudden development of a rock-solid “Not my problem"...Use responsibly (or don't—we're not your therapist). Share generously with people who desperately need it. Oh, and pro tip: the bottles arrive empty so you can fill them with whatever chaotic coping mechanism the recipient secretly craves.
Side effects include smiling more, caring less, and immediately needing another set for literally everyone you know. Grab yours before your last shred of patience does.
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